Day Two - Heroin Sickness
When you’re sick from heroin there’s only one thing in the world that can make you better and that’s the same thing that’s making you sick. It’s strange how human nature works but we’re all addicted. Whether it be to something harmless like heroin or something disgusting like watching the View we all have our addictions. People get addicted to one another too. It doesn’t mean they’re good for each other or that they bring out the best in each other but, more rather, they take the pain away that’s there from the void left by the other. Breaking up with someone you love is the hardest thing in the world to do and when you say good bye and the tears flow and the stomach knots up and the mind starts spinning like a crazy clock from Alice in Wonderland there’s only one person on the planet that can take that pain away. I’m not talking about hookers…that’s temporary. The person who is gone becomes your heroin. They replace the withdrawls you feel. All that self inflicted pain can be gone with a phone call and an apology. But, like heroin, the cure is oft the problem. Just because it makes you feel better for a time doesn’t mean it’s good for you. There are no vitamins and nutrients in it. Just empty calories waiting to make you crash again in a few hours.
Is it worth it? Love? Yeah. I don’t have any regrets. I only wish I was strong enough to fight the addictions in the first place. I have faith that when you love the one you’re meant to love then the pain takes a backseat. It feels more like exercise than like drugs. More endorphins and less opium. A feeling that you’re not only making yourself feel better but that the results are lasting. It’s challenging and that’s what makes it so rewarding. It’s not the easy way out like heroin is. How ironic that heroin is named after a woman who is brave and will try to save your life…
I love you.
Sina Amedson
